Sunday, August 19, 2007

After the storm.....

They say after every storm..comes a rainbow...a light at the end of the tunnel. But what they dont say is after a storm comes a rainbow for 5seconds then thunder...then lightening..then more rain..and eventualllyyyy..THE SUN. Im not one to complain, infact I hate complaining because I always feel like my situation could be a whole hell of a lot worse, I hear other ppl's stories and they make me seem lucky. Right now , I am however feeling mentally and physically exhausted! just tired. My body literally aches and my head seems to never stop pounding. I dont have the energy to give negative ppl and things time and attention. Im now only interested in loving those who I KNOW love me back...Im liking those who like me, Im lookin out for those who look out for me and Im entertaining those who derserve my company. Sometimes I get soo caught up in..those who mean me no good that I ignore/forget about those who mean the world to me and I tend to neglect the ones I love most. Im getting much much better at it.

Its funny when guys see that your tired of the b.s and you've officially took "it" for what it was and moved on..they wanna devote too much attention to you and tryin to see what your up to and who ur talkin to. Human nature I for right now I cant say that im "feelin" anybody like that...I love my ex...I like certain ppl and I crush certain ppl..I have text buddies but thats as far as it goes right now. Most of the guys I use for moral support live in different cities/states and I kinda like it that way. I know my worth and im "the shit" sucks for whoever doesnt feel the same.

I always have problems with friends..I know its not just me either. I consider myself a go-getter..a nice person (90% of the time ) If your my friend and your sincere then theres nothing I wont do for you. If I have connects..then YOU have connects. If Im goin on vacation, im finding a way for you to go..cus your my friend. Then jealousy rears its ugly head...And theres only soo much I can take..Im the most forgiving person, but when I truly see your real intentions..then fck it ! its a wrap and your looked at as an object from now on. If I still fck with you like that its cus u got somethin I need right now and when I use that up..then your tossed out like the trash you are...harsh?? no its jus how i roll.

To the ones I love and adore which consists of probably 4 or 5 ppl..know what I LOVE YOU..i know im moody but your in my head and heart more than you probably know. And I want nothing but the best for you : )