Friday, August 31, 2007

THE DEVIL.......eats hamburgers!!!


I've always been pretty comfortable for the most part about my weight, I mean I've been the same size since 8th grade...I really only work out when Im about to go on vacation or to some big event....how vain I KNOW!! anyway


ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALLL.....

My huge party is next weekend and I been desperately searchin for the perfect "I know you want it, I look better than you, put me to bed, freak em dress" And I prefer it to be pink!! So Im shoppin with my sis and I see this amazing dress in this little boutique....I try on 3 different dress.....wait rewind..there are NOO sizes on the dresses..I ask the little asian man at the counter and he says "one size fit all". Im thinkin "huh" one size fits all in what country?? surely not this one...so im not worried I go in and ........

NONE OF THE DRESSES ZIP UP...WTFFFFF???? If that wasnt a blow to my enormous ego then I dont know what is. Of course I played it off like it didn't bother me....but in my head im like "what the hell have u been eating you fat ass, you cant even fit into 3 different dresses"..If that wasnt enough to totally crush my ego..I go to yet another store where one size does NOT fit all..and guess what...bitch wouldn't zip up either!!.....ARRRRGGGH im screaming by this time ..and cursing every single crumb I have ever eatin in my entire existence! Thennnn....I see some girl I dont like..and shes tiny,,I knowww she was thinkin "fat bitch" !!....So I vow not to EAT ever again in life..ok thats extreme but can you blame me...YOU try not being able to fit 3 different dresses...so then I went to a store that I KNEW had every size..and of course my big fat self fits into this drape of a dress perfectly. And I'm breaking out stressing over this damn party......Im a walking disaster right now..if you see somebody hiding in the corner binging on dunkin donuts..ice cream and cookies with huuuge dark sunglasses on and wet wipes....dont be alarmed. A prayer
lord....Please make me strong enough to over come the "fast food devil", If ever I indulge in chocolate cake please strike me with lightening.....for every pound I gain please let a car hit me in the legs so that I am unable to walk to dunkin donuts for my iced coffee..xtra sugar.
AMEN!!!!!!