Tuesday, December 25, 2007

new year

Is it weird that Im extremely excited for the new year? I mean the only thing that really changes are the numbers..but in my mind I like to think everything changes..new year...new me!! I always make a million resolutions and try my best to stick to them, most of the time I do for the next month..and thats it lol. So my resolution this year, like last year...is to just be happy no matter what. Let go of everything negative, all my doubts and fears...let go and just DO IT!...I have to say though "07" has been good to me, I cant say that I accomplished everything I wanted to, but I tried my best to remain in good spirits and I've met and bonded with sooo many great amazing people...Im gonna make this short and sweet but i'll be back in "08"
HAPPY HOLIDAYS (even though Im not big on xmas)

Saturday, December 8, 2007

My lifes just....FINE

Last night was a strange night for me. I could not sleep at all..I tossed and turned for hours and hours. Then I decided to put on my ipod and hopefully fall asleep. But listening to certain songs just gave me somewhat of an awakening. For instance "Fly like a bird" and " Through the rain" By Mariah. I dunno I guess I just realized certain things and ppl in my life are just not worth the effort. Im naturally a nice person and that tends to be my downfall a lot of times. People take my kindness for weakness..only calling on me when they need/want something or when it suits them. And u know what thats perfectly fine..But I learned not to give sooo much. I had to make such a tough decision lately and im still going back n forth with myself wondering if it was the right thing to do. Regardless though a decision had to be made...rather it was for the best or for the worse...if I didnt do something about the situation I wouldeve just remained stagnant and that helps nobody. From now on...people who wanna remain in my life have to prove themselves worthy. Why should I allow you my time and company? What have you done for me lately?.......I realized things arent soo tough and life really isnt as bad as I sometimes make it seem. No matter what goes on I know I will make it, Im determined...I may get stuck in a rut but I damn sure will pull through and thats the reality of it. The new year is approaching sooo fast and I cannot wait...so here's to the future!

Thursday, December 6, 2007

leftover lovin

As I here at 3:08am..I am totally and completely taken. This man *sigh*..this man. It started out as a nice date between what has finally become two great friends. We laughed we were serious. Goals ambitions..you name it..we discussed it over nachos and mojitos (with a tad too many mint leaves). It was funny we ended up at the same restaurant where we shared our very first date, and there we were almost 2 years later. More sure of ourselves, more aware. We pulled up at my place with no intentions whatsoever. We talked more about his business..men..women,relationships..my book..ect. We shared a heated kiss and I invited him in. Foolish me, wasnt I the same one who just told myself I would not lose focus like this, I will not be getting intimate with anyonre for a while.I wish I could go into detail, but thats a piece of him I want selfishly. Now here I am 2hrs later. Left with thoughts of what will never be. Wondering if he's sleep yet. Warm passionate kisses.Im left with leftover sweat and covered in his cologne from head to toe. Tonight was something different..somewhat of an experience. Why do I feel soo beautiful with him? my sexiest?..my insecurities, prove to be nonexistent with him and Im still wondering why my motivation sky rockets. Is he my inspiration? Watching his naked body re dress himself..soo tall..soo brown..soo incredibly sexy in every way a man can be sexy SHIT! he just fucked up my whole week ..Like rihanna and neyo sing "beyond a reason why". And now I lay here wanting to phone all my girls...frustrated that they're all sleeping. Im left with this feeling...this leftover love thing? nah impossible..not me...it couldnt be...Still gotta stay true cus deep down im still a "G" lol...wheewww that man!