Saturday, October 27, 2007


A new phrase Im living by: Whatever you do in life, dont let it be for nothing

This means soo many things to me. Mainly this: Everything you do should have a purpose, I dont care what it is. If your stuck on some guy and your over-calling him, breaking your neck to see him, cooking him breakfast..ask yourself why am I doing this? Am I getting anything out of it.?? If you feel he's worth it and your getting something out of it Anything! Then by all means ..keep doing it. If your sleeping with every tom, dick and harry...are they giving you money?? the attention you want? ...Every minute of the day we need to be fulfilling our purpose. When Im sitting there amongst a group of friends and Im dead silent, they think something is wrong, when in reality Im observing. I find inspiration any and everywhere...little do they know they just inspired a poem or short story. Lately I've really been on a mission to get things done...up and running. Im soo tired of is cheap. Time is money and I cant afford anymore distractions. The momentum cannot stop!!

--Love changes and best friends become strangers!!
To my best friend::

When you moved things seemed to change. Though we both adjusted the best way we knew how, still it wasn't the same. We started to make countless efforts and realized this 15 yr friendship is worth the effort. You have new friends that I know nothing about, a new life. When we talk Im interested in everything you say/do, though I feel like a stranger, its like getting to know each other all over. All of our adventures consisted of "US". I miss that, but I know we both have to do what we have to do...though we both formed new habits and spend more time apart than together. I still know who has my best interest at heart, I know who will be at my wedding crying more than I am, I know that If I choose the wrong man you'll give me the best advice possible , wanting me to just be happy and taking me to the cheesecake factory listening to me cry when he breaks my heart. New people in my life can never change my heart. Till this day when Im sad and I cry I think to myself "what would she do/say" you have this ability to brighten up my day only saying a few small words. And maybe I dont appreciate you as much as I should sometimes. You may not know this but, you've guided me all my life , there were times when I didn't think I could make it, I didn't wanna make it, but watching you gave me strength. You motivated me..Im only soo strong because I learned how to follow your lead for soo many years. I miss our childhood and latenight phone conversations, I miss your shyness around boys , I miss us getting in trouble together, lying together and getting caught together. I miss our hugs and cries. As we grow and mature, and each day brings us more wisdom..Words cannot express how proud of you I am, from a little spoiled child, annoying me with a million questions you've grown into a responsible , independent..dare I say "adult" without losing the qualities that I love soo much..please know nothing or nobody could ever break the bond we share. You are an undeniable part of my being and I love you for everything your not and everything YOU are.......MY SISTER forever!

Sunday, October 21, 2007

When the boys are away...the girls will PLAY!!

While talking with one of my girlfriends, we came to the realization that most black men are highly insecure and threatened by independent women. When I was younger I would always hear adults saying that ..thinking "oh they just hate men" or they're "bitter". When you have a circle of friends who are all beautiful, paying their own bills, no children, living alone, good jobs...all under the age of 25 and every last one of them are single..then somethings definitely wrong. Men neeed women to neeed them, and in this day and age..sorrry we really don't need you for much. Shit i've even become accustomed to assembling furniture my damn self. I know thats a blow to the male ego but its the truth. We still "want" you though, but theres no way Im gonna come off my square and act neeedy because it makes you feel better. So we came to the conclusion that until they can act right...Playtime will be in full effect.

I went to a b-day party last night of the guy I talked to for about a year. Due to many many reasons...we parted but still share a smile when we see each other. For some reason when he's out he has to be mr. "im too cool to speak", I'll never understand this because dude is at least 30. So me being on that rose moet and long islands...I start flirting...not only flirting but with his bestfriend. At the time I could careless, I didn't mean to get in tooo deep. "I was jus playin with that boy"..By the end of the night when I sobered up and thoughts were clear.If any of this were to come out it could turn the world upside down sorta speak. My mission was to make "him" jealous not...hurt feelings. Though he's hurt mine many many times....
I guess when your not dating, and you finally leave all the "bad news" behind..the girls will definitely play.